Illuminating the Shadow: Turning Self-Sabotage into Inner Power (feat. Xavier Dagba)
Have you ever noticed yourself repeating the same patterns—even when you know better? In this episode, I’m joined by Xavier Dagba for a deeply honest conversation about the shadow side of our inner lives.
We explore the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to hide: old emotional wounds, unmet needs, and traits we’ve labeled as “unacceptable.”
Xavier also introduces the idea of the golden shadow—the disowned strengths, gifts, and radiance we often keep just as hidden as our pain.
Xavier is a transformational coach, speaker, and author known for his grounded, trauma-informed approach to shadow integration and self-liberation. Drawing from depth psychology, embodied healing, and spiritual wisdom, he helps people dissolve self-sabotage and live with greater wholeness and integrity. He is also the creator of The Embodied Light Project and host of the Enheartened.
In our conversation, we talk about resistance, self-sabotage, and why meaningful change can feel so challenging—even when it’s deeply desired.
This episode offers practical insights into recognizing your shadow, working with it compassionately, and integrating all parts of yourself so you can live in a more grounded, authentic way.
Interview timestamps:
[00:03:36] What 'Scars of Gold' means and how wounds can become sources of wisdom.
[00:04:55] Xavier shares what it meant to leave the “safe script” and drop his PhD to follow a truer path.
[00:07:40] “I wish I failed them sooner” and what humiliation teaches about self-trust.
[00:09:26] Kintsugi, Rumi, and the dark night of the ego.
[00:11:23] Why real bravery can feel like madness at first.
[00:14:16] Staying with contraction and letting fear become initiation.
[00:18:16] The golden shadow and the hidden gifts we’re afraid to own.
[00:22:23] How admiration and envy reveal untapped potential.
[00:25:04] Practical steps for reclaiming the golden shadow.
[00:30:52] The gap between awareness and embodiment, and why insight isn’t enough.
[00:35:19] Emotional capacity as “emotional real estate” and the question, can you afford fear.
[00:40:54] Why the wound is a portal to power and integration.
[00:41:22] Xavier offers gentle entry points for shadow work and creating inner safety.
